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We turned off the TV
Two things I know about myself: I am inherently lazy; and I am predominantly grumpy. Sure, I can be motivated and cheerful, but it’s a fight. As an insomniac, I’m also usually tired and the extra...
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The birds and bees before sunrise
“I have feet just like Daddy’s.” “You do. But smaller.” “It’s his genes.” “His jeans? Hahahahahaha. You can’t wear Daddy’s jeans! Hahahahahahaha.” “No, not those jeans. His genes. DNA. It’s what he’s...
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Genetic Roulette and Books and Candy
When my babies arrived, it was clear that I had no genetic input to their physical appearance. Neither were blue-eyed and pink. Luke looked like a photo of his dad come to life, and Sally looked...
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Trick-or-treat, except no tricks please because my kids are stupid
My kids are still working on becoming funny. At least I hope they’re working on it, and that where they sit right now on the funny spectrum is not where they’ll remain. Funny is important to me. The...
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My Days are Numbered
My kids are getting bigger. Soon I’ll enter the Chauffeur Years, when mothers become a barely tolerated presence in kids’ lives, good only for food, cash, and transport. With that in mind, I’m trying...
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Snow Delays with Aunt Flo
As if the 2 hour delay wasn’t bad enough, the school bus ran late. We sat in the car at the end of the street, sheltered from the cold and snow. Naturally, the kids take the opportunity to push...
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The list that changed my mind
It’s easy to get bogged down in the daily slog of parenting. Every once in a while, though, something happens that shifts your focus enough to see the small person in front of you in a new light. Even...
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Happy 39th Birthday to me!
Today I turn 39, which sounds very grown-up. I’m now of an age where I’m supposed to fear and resent aging, but I don’t. Sure, my skin isn’t what it used to be, but there’s only one alternative to...
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Letter to my son on his 8th birthday
I write a letter to Luke every year for his birthday. One day I will hand over a book of these letters to an ornery teenager to prove that my role goes beyond just ruining his life. Dear Luke, Happy...
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A little crazy is good for them
My mother has more patience for annoying things than your average person. She somehow tunes out what would drive anyone else crazy. Her general equanimity remained unaltered despite her three...
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Guilt and Photography
I feel like my life, parenthood especially, is a constant struggle against time. Time is moving too swiftly or too slowly, leaving me either breathless in its wake or frustrated and eager for what...
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Actual Fun vs. Parental Fun
There are two distinct funs once you become a parent: actual fun and parental fun. Actual fun is the life I had before kids. It’s travel, adventure, bike rides, hikes, sunsets, big waves, a great meal,...
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Letter to my Daughter on Her 6th Birthday
On each of my kids’ birthdays I compose a letter. My plan is to one day hand over a book of these heartfelt letters, proving to an ornery teenager that I do, in fact, know and love him/her, and that my...
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Teaching All the Things
I have so little time to teach my children ALL THE THINGS. My days as the source of all that is good, right, and informative are limited. Soon they’ll look to their stupid peers (that would be your...
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Kids are bad at all the stuff they do
Here’s why I’m a worse mom than you: instead of feeling proud and happy that my son qualified for the A-level swim championships, I’m annoyed that I now have to spend two weekends going to two...
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Letter to my son on his 9th birthday
Each year I write a letter to my kids on their birthdays. To see more birthday letters, click here. Dear Luke, Happy birthday! Today you are nine and that’s a pretty big deal! These letters get harder...
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